Ten Chicken Phalls!!!

They told me not to do it!

It was some time in early 1988 when I was working with a bunch of contractors at the Construction Industry Training Board in Norfolk that this all started. We used to drink in a local village pub that had a young chef who cooked great food and one of his specials was a chilli which was good but not hot enough to my liking. Anyway Big Nige was there and somehow in a drunken haze we had a £100 bet that this chef couldn't cook a chilli too hot that I couldn't eat it. Alas however the event never happened and the contract was coming to an end so Big Nige and I decided that the bet should be that I couldn't eat 10 chicken phalls and the proceeds going to Great Ormond Street hospital.
I have to admit that I wasn't looking forward to it once I sobered up. I asked my doctor's advice and he said I shouldn't do it, however there was no turning back, so I collected as much sponsorship as I could.
The event took place at Shaheen's in South End, Croydon (0208 6880782). Harry Enfield was riding his first popularity wave and I wore a specially made "Loadsacurry" sweat shirt. I needed it. The local press turned up and loads of well wishers turned up, the the phalls began arriving...
First one no problem
Second no problem
Third, beginning to feel fed up eating chicken but it went
By the fourth one I could feel my arm resisting entering my mouth
The fifth one took an age, I was bloated and took an hour break.
Sixth one wasn't any easier but I forced it down
Seventh, now it felt like a magnetic force field holding my arm away from my mouth
Eight. Still suffering
Nine. Took an age to eat. Cold, chewy and I wanted to die
Ten. Only one to go but I knew now hold Cool Hand Luke felt.
Colin Thomas informs me that I've eaten 5 whole chickens! The heat was never the problem, it was the volume of chicken. I was constipated for 3 days after that. Still it did raise nearly £1000 for Great Ormond Street Hospital, but never again, or maybe king prawns next time?

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